Deep Dish

There is a direct, positive correlation between the probability that someone is wearing a fanny pack and the likelihood that there is a kazoo in that fanny pack.

I Heart L.A.

I've spent the last six years lamenting many things about Los Angeles. I've longed for some of the comforts of the Mid-West and the South; things such as long-lasting relationships (all varieties) and stability. Well, it turns out that the cure for this is spending 10 days in Small Town, USA. I have never felt that I had a home, in fact, I have romanticized a transient lifestyle. I get irritated when people ask me if I'm going "home" for the holidays. My family is spread out all over and they all have new families with husbands and children and in-laws. I am just a little lost lamb... okay, black sheep, with no base camp. Or so I thought...

Demystification numero uno: One cannot have deep relationships in L.A.
Now, it is true that many people out here have multiple, shallow relationships with people--what I like to call Social Callers. It takes a long time to figure out who your real friends are and to weed out the ones that keep you in their stable in case you can ever do anything for them. But after a week in North Carolina, I realized that people don't really make too many new friends out there. It's all old high school and college buddies. I have the pleasure of meeting new people all the time, and whether they turn out to be life-long relationships or transitional people, I'm having a great time conquering one of my childhood goals: Meeting everyone on the planet. I have an abundance of love in my life and I will never take it for granted again by assigning it a value of less than.

Myth number two: All crackheads are thieves.
Sometimes, for a dollar or two, a crackhead will head your security detail to get you safely to the bus stop. And they will watch your apartment when the door is unlocked to keep all your stuff safe. Shout out to the drugheads out there!

Debunked delusion number three: You can always go back.
There are big-city people and the rest. I love city life and all of its adventures. There is not enough stimulation in a small city to hold the interests of this girl. I immediately lost myself and started sinking into the sadness of a former pain body that I thought had died. What I had identified as stability was really just boredom of routine and a slow death. Everybody's working for the weekend. In my world, every day is Sunday. Maybe I don't have health insurance or a steady gig, but I'm living my joy, and that is infinitely important to me.

To conclude, I will never say "Home is wherever I have a toothbrush" ever again! I felt a peace the first time I came to L.A. and saw the palm trees. I knew, deep down, that I belonged in a place where these trees could thrive. And now I'm sure of it. "Home" means more to me than it ever has. It took some time, but this little woman has finally found a home.