Vive la femme!

                                                                                   

The feminine should absolutely never be used in the pejorative. We have to stop teaching not only our girls, but everyone, that “acting like a girl” is in no way weak. The strongest bond a creature can make is through love, which requires vulnerability, which inherently makes the vulnerable strong. 

It is never okay to say that someone is acting like a wimp, wuss, sissy, pussy, bitch, faggot, pansy or pantywaist. It is never okay to say someone throws like a girl or fights like a little bitch. Every time you “innocently” say something like this, you create that space, that life in the universe where a woman is rendered a second-class citizen. It reinforces the stereotype that men do things the “right” way and that to be feminine is to somehow fail.

Don’t dare to call yourself a feminist or a champion of women out of one side of your mouth and then talk about how Lady Gaga isn’t that pretty or that Miley Cyrus is not that great at twerking out of the other side. So much attention has been paid at how to cut women down to size at every turn. We have to take responsibility for creating a new place where a woman is still celebrated without having to have perfectly symmetrical features or perfect muscle isolation in her glutes. We don’t have to feel threatened by the beauty or success of our fellow sisters because man and machine have thoughtfully sought to program us this way.

Did you know that if you give money to a man in an impoverished nation that he is entirely likely to abandon his family; take the money and leave? If you give the same sum to the woman of the house, she will start a sustainable business and support everyone. Forever.

We don’t need your “Ladies’ Nights” or to be otherwise rewarded for our perky tits. We just need to make the same money for the same work as a man and we’ll buy our own drinks at the bar. We don’t need anymore “lady doctors” or “male nurses” or reinforcements of any kind for the stringent gender roles that are constantly marketed as a one size fits all.

Being a woman is the most amazing, wonderful gift. I am grateful for it everyday. Vive la femme! 

Give Love, Not Power!

Ever wonder why men love bitches? It’s simple; they keep their power.

Let’s just assume that when you love someone you care about them and their needs, feelings, desires. It would be weird if you didn’t. To feel so much so strongly can make you want to share everything. To say “Here. Here is all of me.” It feels beautiful and liberating. And then terrifying, because there’s a huge difference between sharing and giving away the power. All of a sudden, you begin to have needs, to feel needy. Uh-oh. These needs create a sense of entitlement in the other person; you feel you need them and now you have rights. Wrong. You are already a complete and whole person and they are simply a new component that can add or subtract from your equation. They are a slice of life, not the main dish. This would never happen to a bitch. 

It can be difficult to distinguish between giving away love versus power. Have you ever heard the expression “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”? Well, when you “need” someone and you make them responsible for your personal happiness in life, now you have put all your eggs in one basket. More specifically, you have burdened the person you love to carry all of your eggs. And your basket. How awful. Not just for they who now have the considerable load, but for you as well, for giving it all away. That would never happen to a bitch.

Keep your damn eggs to yourself. You keep all your power, which is what attracted that person to you in the first place. You get to walk down the road a little way, side by side, and though any time and length together brings its gifts, that certain someone is entirely more likely to walk further with you if they aren’t doing all the heavy lifting. 

Love with abandon, show up to the dance, be vulnerable, and do belly flops off the high dive, but bear your own burdens. Be like two, distinct rivers flowing independently that join in a mutual union without one sucking all the water out from the other. And whatever you do, don’t let those bitches have all the fun!