Deep Dish

It's not really a good idea to let Jesus take the wheel since he doesn't have a valid driver's license.

Teams

I recently found out that my High School girlfriends are still playing a game we made up back in the day--Teams. I thought I was the only one who was still that immature, but I'm glad to know that others share my flair for the whimsical. It is obviously the best game ever to have survived over a decade, so now I will bring the rules to you so that you can join in the fun!

Now, the basic principle of Teams works like this: Remember when you were in school and you picked your team, say kickball? Two captains each choose one at a time the people they want playing with them? Well, the way I play Teams is that I am the captain of your team, so I recruit your players, and I want your team to suck! The spirit is light-hearted. The Team recruits should be awesome and hilarious, nothing mean. The limit for daily recruits is two--that way the decisions are well thought out and delicious, not just a smorgasbord of straights and squares. Also, you can play with multiple people, but you must both be present and see the person in order for the draft to be effective. Furthermore, a whole person need not be named, but any part of them, including: their shirt, hair, mustache, walk, etc. (For example, I have some guy's mullet on my Team). And while the named person or part should really deserve to be on your opponent's team, act fast and call out "Your Team!", less your rival captain beat you to the punch. Now, when someone is truly ridiculous, it is a good idea to name them Captain of the Team. Captains can be overthrown at any time someone more deserving of the title pops up, so don't be afraid to declare this status whenever it feels right. Cartoons are exempt from recruiting, but puppets are fair game. I've been accused of making the rules up as I go, so here they are in black and white, haters! Of course, as I think of more rules, as I go, I will update them here...

These are the rules of my version of Teams. Perhaps my lovely and immature friends who have perfected the East Coast version will comment on variations of the game. Alison? Mandy? Don't leave me hangin', ladies! GAME ON!!!

To Do List

-- Illegally immigrate to another country.

-- Witness a hobo rivalry.

-- Swing from a chandelier.

--Have a popular rock song written about me.

-- Hitchhike anywhere.

-- Get caught up in a Presidential scandal.

-- Try to find real fairies in Ireland.

-- Ride an elephant.

-- Start the next Underground Railroad that frees women from oppression.

-- Get deported.

-- Hug every orphaned child.

-- Write the next great American novel.

-- Maybe start to consider the possibility of an exercise routine.

-- Become skilled as a deadly assassin, just not practiced.

-- Find out if penguin meat tastes like chicken.